Keep Holding On
by Miss H Swan
Summary: One night head girl Hermione Granger comes accross a fellow student crying. What is wrong with her? Can Hermione hold her guilt in after helping the girl? What has Draco got to do with this? Strong T, 'cause i'm paranoid
1. Chapter 1

**Keep Holding On **

_**A.N: Okay so this came to me when I was watching the video for the 'Glee' version of Avril Lavigne's 'Keep Holding On' and I thought this would be a good way to let out my empathy for Quinn's decision that she has to make. **_

Hermione POV 

I was walking down the corridors during patrol at about eleven on Wednesday night as usual when I heard a noise. Someone sobbing their heart out a few hundred yards away. It was clearly a girl from the sound of her sobs so I walked on peering around for the mystery crier. I looked behind the serpent statue into the small alcove and saw Pansy Parkinson curled up on herself. She hadn't heard me coming towards her.

"Pansy? Are you alright? You know you're out after hours don't you?" my voice was gentle; she looked up and then back down to her knees.

"Oh it's you, Granger, I know I'm out after curfew but I needed to get away from the Commons. No one can see me cry there, they'd skin me alive if I did." Pansy sobbed through her explanation. I sat next to her and hesitantly placed a hand on her knee.

"What's wrong Pansy? I've never seen you this way."

"Please, swear you won't tell anyone what I'm about to say. This can't get out and you are my only confidante. I can't trust anyone else." Pansy looked me deep in the eyes with her own bloodshot ones.

"I promise, what happened Pansy?" I wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder and she leant in cherishing the safety

"Um... a c-couple of months ago I was in Hogsmeade on a Saturday and I went out from the Three Broomsticks and some-someone grabbed me. I realised that it was Vincent Cr-Crabbe so I relaxed and he t-told me that he needed to tell me something in pr-private so I followed him down the alleys to the back of Honeydukes and we-we started talking as soon as the wards were up. But then it ch-changed; he came closer and I could smell alcohol on his br-breath. I told him I was going to go back to the others at the pub and that he'd see me later in the co-commons. When I tried to leave I couldn't, he-he'd put up some charms and I st-started screaming and he was leering and telling me no-no one would hear me. Oh God Hermione, he came closer and clo-closer and I was so terrified. He _raped _me Hermione; he _brutally raped me_ and then _left me alone there_. I could have _died_ and no one- on one would have known." Pansy's voice dissolved into racking sobs as I took it in. When I finally comprehended it I held her closer.

"Oh God Pansy, that's-that's absolutely nightmare-ish. Did you tell a teacher?" I asked quietly

"I d-daren't, you're the first p-person to know. But that's not all; I found out earlier that I'm pr-pregnant. It's Crabbe's. I'm so sc-scared and he remembers. He r-remembers that day. He stole my innocence a-and it feels like it was my f-fault for trusting him. I keep get-getting flashbacks and now Draco has noticed m-my behaviour. I know he's tr-trying to be a good friend but I keep la-lashing out at him."

"Pansy, you can't stay in the dungeons, not while Crabbe's there too. It's not your fault, quit blaming yourself! But can we just tell Draco? Please, between he and I we can easily arrange for you to move dorms and classes and keep you away from Crabbe all the time. Please, let me tell him." I kissed the top of Pansy's midnight ebony hair

"Alright." We stood and I held her shaking hand as we went down to the dungeons. We arrived at the entrance to the commons which was simply a wall "Loyalty." The wall melted away and we stepped through. I sat Pansy down in an armchair I the deserted common room and approached the stairs which led up to the dorms.

"Password." Salazar Slytherin's portrait hissed at me as I touched the boys' door.

"It's an emergency, I need to get in. No password mate." I glared at the sneering face before me

"Says who, sweetheart?" Salazar sneered at me

"Head Prefect; let me in or I'll report you to Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore, is that clear?" I spoke to him mockingly

"Of course, miss, go on up." I nodded and ascended the stairs quickly and quietly, my flip-flops barely made a sound on the stone floor. I pushed open the door and closed it quietly behind me. My gaze filtered over the sleeping bodies and came to rest on the white-blonde locks of Draco Malfoy. I placed a muffilato around the bed and went up to it. I shook his shoulder gently.

"Malfoy, Malfoy, wake up." I spoke normally "Malfoy wake up you lazy idiot!" I shook him harder and he slowly roused.

"W-what are you doing in here, Granger? _How_ did you get in?" Malfoy sat up and raked his hands through his hair so that it would go out of his eyes. Did I mention that he'd grown it so it hung lazily just over his eyes? Oh yes gone was the hair gel. Anyway, back on topic.

"Salazar let me in, come down to the commons. We need to talk to you." I answered

"What? You, Potter and Weasel? No thanks sweetheart." Draco sat up properly.

"No not _them_, Pansy! I had to bargain with her to let me do this so hurry it up and get your arse out of bed. It's about why she's been acting strangely lately."

"Right, I'll come with." Draco got out of bed and began to steer me out of the dorm, an arm around my shoulder.

"Before we go, which bed is Crabbe's?" I asked, Draco frowned at me slightly.

"The one next to the window, why?" I could tell he was suspicious. I shook my head with a sneer on my face.

"He deserves whatever he gets, and he will get it just as soon as I give him a piece of my mind." I turned and jogged down the steps, my skirt floating around my thighs. The three of us sat down and Pansy put up muffilato.

"So are you going to tell me what this is about or what? Pansy acting weird and Granger giving out death threats." Draco asked as I put an arm around Pansy again and she clung to me.

"Draco, Pansy was raped by Crabbe two months ago. He stole her virginity and he impregnated her. We came here tonight because between you and I we can move Pansy here, to a different dorm, different classes and keep that monster of a man away from her. Are you game, because I sure as hell am?" I explained Pansy tensed when I mentioned the rape

"Crabbe? Crabbe did this to you? I'll kill that son-of-a-bitch! I'm in, he's going down and we are going to be responsible for it whether it kills me or not." Draco's fists tightened in his outburst.

"Pansy, what are you going to do about the baby?" I asked softly, she looked between me and Draco's faces.

"I know it's immoral but I'm going to have an abortion; I can still do that at two months, right?" Pansy looked at me for an answer

"Of course you can." I smiled lightly, my stomach twisting

"We'd support you either way anyway, Pans, you needn't worry." Draco came and sat on the floor by our feet as he spoke

"It won't hurt will it?" Pansy was now scared, we were slowly going through the whole spectrum of emotions but that was normal for rape victims. We could deal.

"No, not much. You just take two little pills and you'll bleed it out. You have to stay in overnight but then you can forget that it ever happened if you want."

"Where are you going to sleep from now on?" Draco asked

"I don't know; I can't be on my own." Pansy sighed and leant back in her seat

"I think we should move into the Room of Requirement. I don't think... um... you should probably know that I get what you're going through because I had almost the same thing happen to me on more than one occasion. And both of you were almost witnesses once." I hesitated before speaking

"What? When? Who?" Draco sat up properly, shock written all over his face.

"Cormac McLaggen and Marcus Flint, first, second, third, fourth and sixth year. The first four were Flint." I explained, I was shocked when Draco took my hand.

"I meant when did we almost catch Flint not how long it went on for." His voice had softened

"First year, third floor corridor, he had me against the wall, his hand just kept going lower and lower from my neck down, I knew what was happening but I couldn't stop it. Then your little posse came around the corner and he dropped me. I ran back to my commons and never said a word the other seven times." I snorted "Twice a year, as if it was a treat."

"We should have noticed, I'm sorry." Draco apologised

"No biggie, come on Pansy, let's go and find our new dorm." I took her hand and we went up to the seventh floor with Draco tagging along. When the room appeared we all entered and locked the door. There was three beds all with trunks full of our things, a lit fire, a kitchenette, a few bookcases, an en suite bathroom and a bulletin board with a piece of paper on it. I went and tugged it off while the two Slytherins got comfortable. It said:

Dear Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy and Miss Parkinson,

I already have the knowledge of your whereabouts clearly since you are reading this Miss Granger which is why I took the liberty of having your belongings transferred to your new dorms. I know the situation and I suspect that with your own and Mr Malfoy's tempers that Mr Crabbe will also be aware that you know by breakfast tomorrow. The three of you are excused from classes tomorrow so that you can alter your schedules to fit your new circumstances. Oh and Hermione dear? Don't jump, Mr Malfoy is reading over your shoulder. I shall meet with the three of you after breakfast in my office and speak about what is to be done about Mr Crabbe.

Sincerely, Professor Dumbledore

P.S- I enjoy Liquorish Wands!

"How is it he knows everything?" Draco asked, slumping on his bed.

"He's Dumbledore." I sat down on my own bed. We looked up and Pansy was fast asleep in her bed. We both smiled at the sight. I changed into my pyjamas and got in bed. "Goodnight Draco."

"Goodnight Hermione." I closed my eyes and the lights went out with Draco's whisper of: "Nox."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

Next morning I awoke feeling sick about what I was about to aid. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind and got up, I was first awake.

I found some bread in the kitchenette and made some toast. I ate and dressed in a sweatshirt which said 'make love not war' on it and jeggings with a pair of converse high-tops. I popped my dual pill out of the packet and took it with water along with my vitamins. Draco woke up and was watching me while I took the dual pill.

"I didn't think you'd be the kind of girl to have a casual sexual relationship." Draco sat up and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I don't, it's just in case something goes wrong and I happen to lose my virginity while drunk or something. You want breakfast?" I stood

"Sure, you know I wasn't slagging you off then; it was just an observation." Draco got out of bed and followed me as I put the toast on for him and Pansy

"I know, can you wake Pansy up please?" Draco nodded and went to wake Pansy. The toast went down quickly and they both got dressed.

"When are we going to get the abortion?" Pansy asked as we walked down to the grounds, my stomach clenched with guilt.

"Soon, I just have to do something first." I gave Draco a significant look and he nodded

"Take it as far as you want, have some input for me too." I entered the Great Hall which was full and made my way over to the Slytherin table

"Crabbe, may I have a word in private?" I forced my voice to sound relaxed

"No way, mudblood, whatever you say can be said here." Crabbe smirked at me, I sighed

"I think you'll regret that. HOW DARE YOU RAPE HER YOU SPINELESS, EVIL GIT! ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF A TOSSER THAT YOU WOULD THINK SHE WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE? YOU GOT HER PREGNANT YOU BASTARD AND THEN YOU SHOVE THAT IN HER FACE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY! OH AND THAT'S NOT ALL, DRACO KNOWS AND HE IS EXTREMELY PISSED AT YOU. THE FUNNY THING IS, I'M SO MAD THAT I CAN'T EVEN WORD IT. I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WHERE YOU BELONG, I'M NOT THE SCUM YOU ARE AND I REALLY HOPE YOU DIE PAINFULLY." I screamed at him, everyone stared in shock at the new revelation.

"Miss Granger, I trust you and the girl are going to the clinic now?" Dumbledore asked looking amused

"Yes, we're leaving now. Good day professor." And with that I left and met Draco and Pansy

"We can go now then?" Draco also looked entertained, I nodded breathless

"You didn't have to do that you know." Pansy took my arm as we went down the unstable path towards the Forbidden Forest

"I know, I needed to though. People like him just get to me." I stumbled and Draco who was behind me grabbed me around the waist, I silently thanked his quidditch reflexes. "Thanks." I smiled lightly around my shoulder

"You're cute, I never thought I'd ever say it but you're cute." Pansy told me, I blushed

"Thanks, I think that was a compliment." I replied

"It was, so what were you doing in the Great Hall?" Pansy looked curious as Draco shot me a look which clearly told me to lie.

"I had to tell Dumbledore that we were leaving." I lied smoothly

"Oh right then, we're cool to leave now then?" Pansy seemed happier and more light-hearted today

"Of course, come on, if we get there early enough we might be able to slip you in before appointments start."

"Oh good, I'm sick of feeling like I'm going to throw up all the time." Pansy looked happy at the prospect of the termination while I simply attempted to stop the thoughts that had been plaguing me from running through my head. The effort was futile though, the thoughts still came and the tears still welled up.

We arrived at the clinic and after explaining why we were there so early Pansy was taken to the room where the medicine would be administered. I sat half a foot away from Draco in the clinically white room as we waited the half hour for Pansy. I tried so hard to stop the thoughts and the emotions, especially in front of him, but then a dam broke and I felt hot tears sliding down my cheeks and dropping onto my sweatshirt. I managed to conceal my sobs for a full five minutes until a small gulping sob escaped my chest. Draco looked up startled by the sound.

"Hey, what's wrong _querida_?" Draco asked placing a comforting hand on my knee. The sobs though quiet began to wrack my body; I leant into Draco's shoulder. I could tell it shocked him but he still put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close into his body. After a couple of minutes a nurse who had been talking to the receptionist came over and knelt by our feet and spoke to Draco since I was still sobbing.

"She doesn't have to go through with it you know, it's her choice."

"What? She's not pregnant," Draco paused and looked down at me "you aren't are you?" I shook my head

"But, why are you here then? I just assumed..." the nurse trailed off.

"Our friend is in there, she needed a legal adult and since only Hermione knew they had to tell me so I came with as well." Draco explained, rubbing up and down my arm as my sobs began to dwindle.

"So let me get this straight. You are the legal adult, the friend having the abortion only told girl in your arms so they had to tell you and consequently bring you so she could have the procedure done, correct?" the nurse asked

"Pretty much, I doubt anyone else would have known otherwise." Draco hugged me tightly once more before releasing me and offering up a handkerchief embroidered with the letters DLM. The nurse noted the letters and came to her feet.

"So which friend would it be then, Mr Malfoy?" her tone turned slightly frosty towards him

"I thought that was patient confidentiality." Draco's reply was curt and I saw the muscles in his hand flex under the smooth, pale skin.

"Your child then, what a surprise." The nurse sneered at him

"I'll have you know-" Draco began but I took hold of his arm to stop him from standing which I had guessed would be his next move

"Draco, not here." I pleaded and he relaxed back into his seat waving away my non-verbal offer to give him his handkerchief back

"Keep it, I have others." I put it in my pocket and looked around the nurse to see the clock

"So you're the new bit on the side. You know he doesn't love you and probably never will, he'll use you for your body and then ditch you like a used dishcloth." The nurse was looking down on me now. I stood and looked her in the eye.

"And you would be?" I asked coldly

"Natalie Bracker and you?" Natalie Bracker obviously still didn't recognise me. I looked behind me and gave Draco a look which told him I was about to play dirty. He stood slightly behind me to my right.

"Me? I would be Hermione Isabelle Granger Malfoy at your service." I stuck out a hand and glanced at Draco to see his reaction. The only sign of shock were his slightly raised eyebrows.

"It seems I was wrong. Then you should probably know that the baby that's being terminated is his, she's his mistress." Natalie looked smug after floundering for a minute

"Actually she was raped while we were out in town. Myself and Draco were in the pub with some friends and she didn't turn up at the time she said she'd meet us. She only told me she was pregnant yesterday and we have a name and dates and DNA evidence. I think you should start to use what few brain cells you have before speaking." I finished smoothing imaginary creases in my clothing and sat down with Draco at my side. He took my hand and kissed my cheek

"Well that stumped her, Mrs. Malfoy." Draco muttered grinning against my ear

"I'll say it did, Mr Malfoy." I turned slightly and caught sight of the nurse. "Did you need something?"she walked off in a huff while the receptionist looked at us fondly. When I turned back to face Draco he was closer than I thought and my lips touched his...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

After our _extremely_ brief kiss I broke away from Draco and slid up my seat further away from him, he didn't seem to notice since his own embarrassment was coming into play across his features.

Pansy emerged from the doctor's office a few minutes later, happier but pained, the termination had begun.

The next hour was spent putting Pansy to bed and looking after her, trying to easy her pain as much as possible, she fell asleep a little after lunchtime, after we had forced her to eat a small sandwich with us. I decided that to avoid awkwardness I would take myself off to the library for the day. The hours slipped by as I poured over the books, drinking in the facts willingly becoming a slave to knowledge; it was only hours later when Madame Pince came over and turfed me out of my comfortable seat that I realised how late it had gotten. It was half past ten at night and I hadn't eaten since lunch, so much for looking after myself and my appetite, I thought, trudging my way back to the makeshift dorm to check on Pansy before going to bed.

She wasn't looking too good; when I walked in she was sweating but completely cold and throwing up from the pain whilst Draco looked on helplessly. I dashed to get a cold flannel for her head and an extra blanket, hurrying back to put them over Pansy and rub her stomach as she threw up again.

"How long has she been like this?" I granted Draco a glance

"Uh... about an hour I think." He looked worried but I still couldn't help but rant at him

"An _hour?_ She's been throwing up, sweating and shivering for a whole _hour_ and you didn't think to send for me?" I cursed his stupidity but turned my attention back to Pansy who was starting to stop throwing up and get a normal temperature.

"How the bloody hell am I meant to know where you are? I'm not your owner!" Draco demanded

"Too bloody right you're not, I'm my own woman I it's nobody's business what I do or when I do it but just think; this is _me_. Bookworm Granger! Where is the most obvious place?"

Draco blinked at me "The library?" He sounded unsure

"Well done Captain Obvious." I applauded sarcastically

"Oh fuck right off, I'm going to bed." Draco spat and got into bed, not sparing either I or Pansy a second glance.

"Charming, some friend aren't you?" I hissed sarcastically as I brushed a lock of hair from Pansy's face before changing for bed.

"Yes I am since I stayed here with her for the past hour while she up chucked her guts." Draco hissed back

"Get of your high horse go to bed would you? God you're such a whiny brat!" I turned my back to him in my bed and tuned out his angered insults as I fell asleep.

_**Sorry it's another short one but I've had a lot going on at the moment! xx**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

By next morning I had called down from my intense anger to just being moderately annoyed at Draco for not having the sense to send for me when Pansy was sick the previous night. Even though I felt like this and it seemed like he too had also called down the air was thick with nervous tension, both of us just waiting for the other to snap and another row to begin. On the positive side Pansy seemed a little better in herself but I just knew that she'd be returned to the sickly girl she was the night before when she took the second pill to finish the termination.

"Hermione?" I looked up from the homework I was working on, hearing Pansy's quiet voice

"Yes Pansy? Is something the matter?" I placed my quill down on top of my spare parchment, standing to go and check if she had a fever with the back of my hand

"Nothing's the matter, I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for me and I hope we can be good friends after this. I know Draco's grateful for your help even if he doesn't show it too." Pansy glanced towards the kitchenette to make sure Draco couldn't hear her.

"It was no trouble, honestly, I'm quite honoured you trusted me enough to tell me and let me help you." I smiled and began to return to my seat before Pansy caught hold of my wrist in her warm hand

"I wanted to ask, will you come in with me when I get the other pill today? I don't want to do it alone again." Pansy requested quietly. I simply nodded in agreement and returned to my homework.

By the time we had to go and get the second pill the tension in the air had dropped to just simmering under the surface of the polite demeanour we were both now showing, determined to cause Pansy as little stress as possible at least until after the termination was complete.

Once again we sat in the waiting room, today though it was colder and seemed even more clinically sterile than the previous day. Perhaps now I knew what this place caused to happen it had changed my view of it. I slipped a hand into Pansy's; she was shaking slightly with nerves I expected. I squeezed her hand tight for a second, offering her a smile which she reciprocated. Soon Pansy was called in and she stood pulling me up with her. We entered the consultation room and my eyes widened in shock. Pictures of health newborns, growing toddlers and scan pictures adorned almost every inch the walls and there were a couple of 'Thank You' cards on the desk where the computer was. My estimation of this place's support for the mother's rights dropped heavily, the pictures and cards were quite blatantly there to try and guilt mother's having terminations into not going through with it, even desperately young mothers like Pansy.

I scowled at the doctor as I sat sown next to Pansy on the uncomfortable plastic chairs provided for patients; the doctor simply stared right on back blandly. No words were spoken in that room, Pansy was simply handed the little red and white striped pill and a glass of water. We were out of the room within two minutes and back at school within ten. Draco seemed to catch the hint that neither I nor Pansy would want to talk. Just as the previous day Pansy went to lie in her bed as soon as we got home. I slipped off my shoes and went t sit on the edge of the bed to Pansy's left.

"You okay?" I moved an ebony strand of hair from Pansy's eyes

"It hurts so much, stay with me?" Pansy asked almost silently. I nodded and slipped under the covers with her. Pansy called for Draco and requested that he also join us which he acquiesced to; slipping in on Pansy's other side. Pansy leant her head against my chest as I rubbed her stomach, Draco doing the same to her back. Draco's eyes locked on mine over Pansy's head as she murmured something quietly to the two of us:

"I don't know why you fight; you're perfect for each other..."

**A.N- So here it is the (very) long awaited update! Sorry about the lack of updates anyway, it's been crazy here, R and R please, hope you enjoyed it. Any questions just PM me xx**


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